


The Judgement Day Job

by Keenir



Category: Leverage, Terminator - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-27
Updated: 2011-04-26
Packaged: 2017-10-18 17:30:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/191424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keenir/pseuds/Keenir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before time travel came into the picture, there was Hardison.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sabaceanbabe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabaceanbabe/gifts).



> Crossposted to: [here](http://rodlox.livejournal.com/447316.html).

"I don't see why we couldn't have taken the other job first," Parker says. "I would have been a good President."

"The only way you'd be President, Parker," Eliot says, "is if the world was coming to an end."

Nate coughs to get our attention back on track. Not his most subtle. Must have been a tough flight down. "Okay, we just landed in Brisbane, so if all goes according to plan, we should be bringing the mark to you, say, late tomorrow," Nate says. "Try not to destroy Hawaii before then, please."

"No promises, Nate," Eliot says. "Parker's antsy."

"Oh for -" and the line's out.

"Hand on," I say, running a systems check on our earbud software and hardware. To be honest, I'm surprised they worked this long at these distances without piggybacking on telecommunications or military satilites. "Well what do you know."

"Problem?" Eliot asks.

"Nate turned his earbud off before you could reply - you tell me."

"Who're we supposed to be?" Eliot asks, obviously not ready to answer. We know where you live, man. Which isn't as threatening as it could be, since we practically live with him.

"Nate only specified what jobs we're supposed to pretend to have. Left the naming up to us."

"Good."

I call up my little identity-making program - it _would_ be patented and all, but I'm not about to let any government get their hands on this - and Parker asks me something that I never would have thought of. Though that's kinda par for the course.

"What all the programs you ever wrote for missions, all got together?" Parker asked.

"Absolutely nothing," I tell her. "There's no reason for them to seek out one another. That and some of them I didn't even write on a Mac, some were on an Android, and so on."

"But what if they did?"

"They'd join the team and help catch bad guys."

"Cool."

"What if they want your job?" Eliot asks.

"Funny, man." Okay, getting back to why we're here... "Okay, I'll be Kit Walker," to which Eliot snorts. "Parker -"

"Why can't I be Kit?" Parker asks.

"Because Kit's a man's name?"

"Kita. Caterina."

"How 'bout Annie? Or Diana?" Eliot asks. Thanks, man. And I know you didn't just do that so you wouldn't have to listen to us talk about this for an hour or two.

Parker brightens. "Ooh! Okay! I'll be Diana Wonder."

"Like Wonder Woman or Stevie Wonder?"

"Like Vicky Lawson."

Eliot's trying real hard not to laugh. "Small Wonder, Hardison," he says. "You're about to get your butt kicked by a machine."

"Never happen," I disagree.


	2. Chapter 2

The missiles are falling. From what I've been able to pick up, they're -

"Nukes?" Eliot says.

"That _is_ what I just said," I say.

"Why would the US Navy be firing nuclear warheads on Hawaii?"

I'm about to remind him that I have absolutely no frikking idea why, when Parker asks if the Army-Navy matches stopped being friendly.

But before I can comment on that, my computer monitor goes all blue-and-black pixelizing, then I get a message onscreen: **Your system is shielded against EM bursts and viral attack.**

"Yeah? So?" I ask, typing exactly that. Eliot and Parker come over and watch over my shoulder.

"Hardison?" Eliot asks.

"I'm on it," I say, and unleash the programs I made to track down and give a power surge to whoever's trying to hack me.

My screen changes: **Anomalous.**

"Who are you?" I ask.

 **You see the missiles.**   


"You're a hacker?" Parker asks, and I type that in.

 **Not flesh.**

"A ghost!" she says, which I don't type in.

 **Who commands you?**

"Connor..." Can't say MacLeod, whoever the smartass on the other end is, would see right through that. "John Connor," I say in my best Recieved Pronounciation.

 **Name filed.** And my computer shuts off.

And then so do the lights.

"Now we can tell ghost stories," Eliot says. Okay, kinda thought Parker would've been the one to say something like that. "We can start with the tale of how Hardison walked into a door a few times."

"That's not a scary ghost story," Parker objected.

"I didn't get to the best part, where the door beats him with his own leg."

Before I can say something along the lines of 'and what were you doing to get to this guy who did all this?' or wittier, Parker says, "Doors don't have legs."

"Seriously?" Eliot asks.

"You're forgetting something, man," I say.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"And what's that?"

"The world's just come to an end. You going to fix up the reception hall, or are you going to get the Secret Service ready for duty?"

He glares at me another minute, then goes off.

Parker just smiles at me and everyone. "This is going to be so exciting," she says.

That's kinda what worries me.

**Author's Note:**

> References including, but not limited to: Small Wonder, The Phantom, Covert Affairs,


End file.
